Missed
by BlackShaftedArrow
Summary: Set right after Alyss dies. Will remembers her and blames himself for her death and Halt tries to comfort him. Minor spoilers for books 11 and 12. And if you haven't read book 12 I spoiled it for you just by reading this. NO SLASH


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice; all rights to John Flanagan. The song called 'Hymn For the Missing' is by Red. It belongs to them and whoever else it belongs to. I own nothing.**

** I've seen a lot of stories like this with the lyrics to a song interspersed in the story and I thought they were cool, so I decided to try one. :D Enjoy!**

_ I tried to walk together_  
><em> But the night was growing dark<em>  
><em> I thought you were beside me<em>  
><em> But I reached and you were gone<em>

Will sat in front of the fireplace, his coffee untouched. He still couldn't believe it. He still couldn't believe that so much joy, so much beauty, could be reduced to nothing in a matter of seconds. The tears were still fresh on his face as he remembered her. He hadn't moved from this spot for hours. He just sat there, in stunned silence. She was gone. The love of his life.

_ Sometimes I hear you calling_  
><em> From some lost and distant shore<em>  
><em> I hear you crying softly for the way it was before.<em>

He could almost see her, breathtaking in her simple white courier's gown and long, golden hair. The tall girl was what Will had come home for on many occasions. Times when he felt too weak to survive, had lost the will to live. Of course, he had always had Halt, he was like family. But nothing could drive him more than seeing her again could.

_ Where are you now?_  
><em> Are you lost?<em>  
><em> Will I find you again?<em>

After his wife had been killed in the fire at the inn, Will had been unable to speak, aside from the few tear-strangled words that had escaped him when he'd received the news of her death. He had just come home, refusing to be pitied by Halt and his friends, and simply sat there, trying to work out his feelings.

_ Are you alone?_  
><em> Are you afraid?<em>  
><em> Are you searching for me?<em>  
><em> Why did you go? I had to stay<em>  
><em> Now I'm reaching for you<em>

He had no idea how long it had been since he'd ridden back to the cabin he'd grown up in. And he had no idea how long he'd sat there, tears falling down his face, wishing he could see her one last time. Wondering why she had to be so cruelly taken from him.

_ Will you wait? Will you wait?_  
><em> Will I see you again?<em>

Why? He asked himself over and over again. How could somebody do such a thing? The black hole of grief and sadness overwhelmed him, and he buried his face in his hands once again, shoulders shaking as sobs racked his body. He didn't hear the creaking of the front door as Halt stepped inside, slowly pushing the cowl of his cloak away from his face. He joined his apprentice on the couch and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

_ You took it with you when you left_  
><em> These scars are just a trace<em>  
><em> Now it wanders lost and wounded<em>  
><em> This heart that I misplaced.<em>

"Will?" He asked quietly.  
>The young man looked up, tears still streaking down his face. "Why, Halt?" He asked, his voice trembling. "Why did she have to die?"<br>Halt's heart ripped in two as he watched his apprentice cry brokenly for his lost wife. His own voice shook slightly as he spoke, but he quickly regained his composure before continuing. "All things…all things have a time, Will. You knew that when you left Tug with Old Bob."  
>"But this isn't Tug, Halt. This is Alyss. My wife."<br>Halt knew how much Will loved Alyss. And he had just proven it by the fact that he'd rated Tug below her. Ranger's were extremely fond of their horses, and Will was no exception.  
>"I know, Will. I know." His mentor replied softly.<p>

_ Where are you now?_  
><em> Are you lost?<em>  
><em> Will I find you again?<em>

"Why did she have to go, Halt?" Will asked again, this time more forcefully. Anger threatened to flood the young man as he thought again of the wretch who had set fire to the inn in the first place. He was responsible for his wife's death. "Why did it have to happen to her? Why not someone else?" He searched desperately for an answer to all the questions. "Why not me?"  
>Halt said nothing, finding no words to say.<br>Will stood, his slight frame shaking with anger. "They took her from me. That fire. That man. That peasant child." He knew he was being irrational, that it had been his wife's goodness that had been her downfall, but he didn't care. His anger was overtaking him now, and he needed to vent it on someone. "It's all my fault. I should've been the one to rescue that child, not her." He kicked violently at one of Ebony's balls and didn't even turn to watch it ricochet rapidly against the wall and bounce back again. "It's all my fault!" He screamed, falling against the wall and smashing his fist into it, resulting in a large dent. He slid to the floor, knees pulled up to his chest, crying.

_ Are you alone?_  
><em> Are you afraid?<em>  
><em> Are you searching for me?<em>  
><em> Why did you go? I had to stay<em>  
><em> Now I'm reaching for you<em>

Halt's heart went out to the young man, and he stood, coming to sit beside his apprentice. He gently tilted his chin up and looked Will straight in the eyes, forcing his apprentice to meet his gaze. "Listen to me, Will. It's not your fault. It never was. She was a good woman, and that's exactly what a good woman would do."  
>Will's watery brown eyes met Halt's dark ones. "Halt, I know you're just trying to make me feel better." Halt opened his mouth to speak, but Will continued before he could interrupt. "And I thank you for that. She was always there for me, and the one time she needed me most, I wasn't there." Will whispered, his eyes not wavering from his mentor's.<p>

_ Will you wait? Will you wait?_  
><em> Will I see you again?<em>

"There was nothing you could do, Will. There was nothing any of us could do." Halt tried to comfort his young friend, hoping his words would cheer him up or at least make him realize it wasn't his fault.  
>"I know. But that doesn't change what happened. It doesn't change that she's dead now." Will's voice was low and tight with pain. Will was glad Halt was here for him. He had always been a father to him, ever since he'd become his apprentice. The older man was his rock, his security, and he gave him great comfort in just being there.<br>Silver tears began to fall down Halt's cheeks, but he hastily wiped them away, knowing it would not comfort his apprentice.  
>"She was what I lived for, Halt. And now she's gone. Forever." He paused, looking deep into his master's eyes. "And nothing can ever replace her."<p>

**_finished ~_**

**_Arrow_**


End file.
